I need to give myself a really serious talking to.......

I am not going to ruin all the good work I have done in losing all this weight!

Even though I have stuck to my points my heart hasnt been in it so I have been using my points for rubbish food and boy have I felt the difference, I am tired and groggy and I can't be bothered with anything.

I have had a good day so far but I am really hungry, I will not go over my points but it will be a real battle!!!

I am going to take one day at a time and hopefully get through this week, I just get the feeling that if I get through this one my mojo will be back.................

Fingers crossed.

xx

Eeeerrrrrmmmmm......

Having a weird day today...............................

Yuck!

xx

Graze.com

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What a brilliant way to try new things without buying loads and wasting it!!

xx

My plan.....

to try and crawl back into the WW zone is as follows:

Get weighed first thing tomorrow and see what my body has decided to do as far as how much it wants to weigh.

Try not to let it get me down because my body has been weird and not wanting to actually get rid of any fat of late.

Get all the shopping ordered for delivery on pay day and start trying some new recipes.

Drink lots of water.

Try and get out walking more if the weather is nice or get on the Wii if it is rubbish.

See now this all sounds like I am ready to get in the zone but truth is I am far from it. I have been sticking to WW like an angel but these last 2 weeks have been crap body wise and it has really knocked my confidence. I dont think it helped that I need a top for going out in a week or so and I went to try loads of things on and nothing looked right, how come I have lost so much weight already and I still can't get anything to fit?!

I really dont want to ruin all the good work I have done but I feel that I am close to tipping over the edge and completely rebelling against WW. It isn't a nice feeling to be this close to losing it and I am not sure what it will take to keep me going the way I want so any suggestions welcome.

xx

What a busy weekend.............

I am sat here feeling like I have just blinked and the weekend has finished!!
It has been a very busy weekend, I helped my sis do a chocolate fountain at a sporting event on Saturday and today we have put up all Matt's new furniture, tidied the house and get everyone ready for school/work tomorrow. Phew.

My legs have stopped hurting as much but I doubt whether my weight has gone back to normal as I still feel bloated............I am going to a lunchtime weigh in this week on Tuesday and I am going to just get weighed and take it from there.

I am going to get some herbal water tablets when my next period comes in the hope that the pain won't be as bad and it will help keep my weight steady. Fingers crossed.

xx

Our bodies.....

I didn't get to my weigh in this week because I had a really bad migraine that wiped me out so I decided to get weighed today feeling quietly confident that I would have lost as I have been in the zone for the last few weeks...............anyway, it showed 4.5lbs on!!! (I took into consideration that I was wearing different clothes and I did need a wee but even so....).

I am gutted to be honest. The only thing I can think off is that it is my TOTM. The last 6 months have been horrendous when it has come to my period, they have started getting heavier, longer and more painful but also, at the same time these changed I started getting migraine every couple of days, my boobs got extremely painful when they never used too and these last couple I have got pain at the top of both legs that is so bad I felt like buying some walking sticks because it was too much and at some points I wanted to just sit and cry! I have been to the Doctors but they are not convinced that all this is related and are insisting that each thing is treated seperately?!?! Getting stressed about it isn't helping but at the end of the day we all know our own bodies and mine is telling me that something major is changing and I am convinced it could be the start of menopause. I will be 40 in September and I know this is a little early but it is possible. I just wish the Doctor would consider this could be the reason.

I am considering asking to see another doctor for a second opinion............

Clothes shopping and...........

what is actually fashionable these days???

You would think that losing the weight I have so far that this would get easier but it was horrible shopping today. I was really looking forward to having a bit of browsing time on my own (thanks to Andy!) but I soon got fed up.

All I needed was a top for when I go out on the 9th, my first dilemma was what do people actually wear and the second was what size to pick up.

I saw some lovely tops which looked more daytimey but I thought I could add accessories to make them more suitable for an evening out. I took them to the changing room and I looked ridiculous! They fit in some places and not others or the style was not flattering to my big boobs, it was all very frustrating and I gave up and came home feeling very sorry for myself. I still have no idea what to wear and I now feel crap about myself and see myself as fat as I was before I lost the weight! How on earth did I get clothes to fit then?!?!!?!?

Bollocks to it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cottage cheese and Sunbites crisps!

I have discovered Tesco Cottage cheese with Sun blushed (who thinks these names up!?) tomatoes and cracked pepper and Walkers Sour cream and pepper Sunbites!!!

They are absolutely delish!

Even though the cottage cheese isnt low fat it is 3.5 points for half of the tub and if you have that with loads of Salad and the Sunbites at 2 points a bag it is well worth it. The crisps also claim to have 1/3 of your daily wholegrain requirement so 'win win'!

I am totally addicted which means I will hae that much of them both that eventually I will go off it but until then.................yummy city!

xx

Spiders!

God I hate spiders and there is a very big one who has basically created his own bloody web mansion behind where the old washing machine was.

Matthew very bravely hoovered up the mess and webs but didnt get the spider, I am now nervous about going to bed because I am scared that the spider wants revenge and has left me something 'godfather' like in the bed!!! lol

I am aware that my phobia is absolutely ridiculous and there is no reasonable explanation for it but when I see one I feel shakey, sick and very scared! Weird.

Anyway, I am typing this instead of going to bed even though I am really tired and would benefit an early night! lol

How silly do I sound?

xx

Hmmm downward spiral anyone?

Was all set for weigh in last night but when I got home from collecting Lolly from school a migraine came and landed on my head with a great force that I could hardly move and to top that my reluctant period arrived finally, this meant that I didn't get to weigh in so I have decided to leave it on my weight tracker as a STS.

I settled down to sleep the evening away when a shout from Andy sent me upstairs to the bathroom where our water tank had flooded all over the bathroom floor! We got that sorted and I took all the soaked towels to hang out on the washing line, I can't wash them because our washing machine died on Sunday so will have to wash them when the replacement comes on Thursday. Anyway, we needed to get the old washing machine out so we decided to get that done which also resulted in water all over the kitchen floor due to whoever fitted our kitchen were rubbish and made it extremely hard to get the washing machine out!!! As you can imagine we both got fed up and snappy with each other and my migraine was treatening to blow my head right off if I didn't sit down and sleep.

We spent the rest of the evening in near silence because we were both so fed up and my body was being rebellious!

The only thing that will cheer me up is if the new washing machine not only washes but irons the clothes and puts them away for me too!! lol

Thank god the weather is nice!
x

I HATE PERIODS!!!

This is getting beyond funny now, I used to be as regular as clockwork but a while back I was really poorly and it ended up with me having my coil replaced (no more gory details to follow dont worry! lol) and since then I had a period that lasted 3 weeks and have had two more since in a space of 6 weeks!!! This third one is around but reluctant to be full strength which in turn is making me retain water and feel bloated and have major bad tummy ache!!!!

:0(

I am getting extremely fed up with it as I think this is partly due to my age and my body changing and there is nothing I can do about it.

Nothing more to say really.......................

End of my two weeks off.

Well my two weeks off is over and I am back to work tomorrow, I am looking forward to it but I have really enjoyed my time off, it has been busy and I have walked loads and had good weight losses. I have loved the fun I have had with the kids, they have been really well behaved this holidays which makes me think that they were as ready for a break as I was.

I had an NSV as well this holiday, I finally got into some size 16 jeans and I felt great!!! I am soooo happy. WW is great!!!

Right I am off to get my pack up ready for tomorrow and iron all the clothes so I can chill out and relax while I curl up with Andy and watch Supernatural later.

Happiness is.........

xxx

Another 1lb gone.

Well Easter came and went without any major hiccups, if I ate it I pointed and this is the first time it didnt stress me out!

Another 1lb down! Woohoo! Another 1 and I will be less that 200 lbs, another 1.5 and I will get another silver seven and anther 5 and I will be in the 13's!!!!!!

Happy days!!

xx

Decorating.

Why is it that when you start decorating you end up in a never ending circle of having to do another room then another and another until you are back to the start??

A while back we had the bathroom gutted and re-done and then the attic split into two and this weekend we have started Matt's bedrooom, the problem with doing all this decorating we had to use our bedroom and the kitchen for storing stuff and a general walk way for taking out all the rubbish so they now look scuffed, dirty and tired!

Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh!

xx

What is 20+ years between old school friends?

As it turns out absolutely nothing!

Facebook has opened the door to the past for me and has got me back in touch with an old school friend, I was really happy to be back in touch with her (and a few others) and we chatted first on FB and then on the phone, if I was ever worried that we would be strangers and have nothing to talk about I was VERY wrong. It was like we had seen each other just yesterday, she arrived with 2 of her lovely children and as kids do they immediatly went off with mine and got on straight away! lol We talked and talked in between eating lunch and taking the kids to the park and the farm and before we knew it 5 hours had passed and it was time for them to go! It went so fast but I know that it is the first of many visits to come. We had hardly scratched the surface of what we had been doing but a lot has happened in 20 years! Happy times ahead me thinks!

xxx

Easter Hols

You can tell it is the holidays, I havent had time to fart never mind blog! lol

I am making sure I go to weigh in and had my first Easter weigh in today, I lost another lb which I am pleased about.

My main plan for the hols is to make sure I know exactly what I am going to do for most of the days and plan my meals accordingly, I am going to take advantage of any clear weather and go out to as many parks as I can with the kids.

Happy days!

xxx

A lovely day.

I have had a lovely day today.

Andy and I were both off so we decided to eat at our favourite restaurant for lunch today, it was yummy as always and tasted even nicer because it was all pointed! We treated ourselves to some new clothes as well and I have bought 3 size 14 vest t-shirts (cant remember the last time I bought that size!) and a size 10 jumper (?!?!?), I can only assume the style was roomy! lol

I then had the final parents evening tonight, Will and Lolly had both had really good reports but it was Matthew's that I was apprehensive about with him having learning difficulties and this being his first year in secondary school, turns out that we had picked the right school and after some settling in he seems to be thriving! I am soooo happy, what a great day.

I love my family very much.

xxx